Choices, Choices, I hate fucking choices.. Why is everything in my life so complicated. Do you want chicken or beef for you dinner Lara, Would you prefer to get the bus to school today or walk? My head in melting and I’m finding the more choices I’m given the harder it is to decide. Does that make sense. I’ve enough going on in my complicated little mind than to worry about making stupid choices. Couldn’t my mother just cook one or the other for dinner and not ask me. Can’t I just take the bus to school every day that way I won’t have to worry about making the decision when I wake up in the morning. She has to give me money every morning for the bus. It’s not bloody easy being 14 you know. Not one little bit.
Right, I’m a little irate this morning. I’ve just woken up to find the biggest zit I’ve ever seen in my life errupt right under my nostrels. How am I going to face my class of 36 students. They will only see this. And worse still what if HE sees it. There is a good chance our paths will cross when I’m going to my English class at 12.10. We usually do pass each other out at this time on a Monday (and at 3.20 on a Tuesday and 9.40 on a Thursday). Somedays he notices me, other days he just walks right by.
HE is utterly gorgeous. Think a cross between Justic Bieber and ?… He is 15 but looks like he is about to do his leaving cert. He is in 3rd year, I’m in 2nd. But that doesn’t matter. I don’t think it does anyway. I’m not saying he even knows I like him, well not officially anyway, but he would be utterly stupid (and he is far from stupid) to not notice me. I get all hot under the collar when we brush past each other on the corridor in school. Our elbows my gently caress as we pass each other likes ships in the night but it’s like this, every single word my English teacher utters in our 12.10 class goes right over my day-dreaming mind.
His name is Jason. He lives on the other side of town and is fairly cool in my opinion. Well I think he is anyway. My friends thinks he is only “alright” but I can see more than they can see. I can see past the brown eyes, pale skin and toned bod! I can see a guy who is sensitive, kind, and smart. How I hear you ask.
Well let me take you back to the start of this academic year. We were about two weeks into the year, mid September if my memory serves me correctly. On this particular day I was slightly moody (but not for long) and had just gotten off the school bus to find I forgot my PE gear. I knew I’d get shit later from my teacher for this (there is this new policy about physical education being necessary for all students and possible detention for not attending). I was walking in the school gates alone and having a little rant to myself when I tripped over a curb and landed right on my knees and palms. Could I be more mortified. The contents of my school bag (including my tampons my I add) were strewn across the school yard and there was I trying to gather myself quickly to not look like the biggest fool in the school that day. And then I heard him!
“Lara, are you okay”?
I recognised his voice straight away. It belonged to Jason. I fancied him from about Christmas of the year before and only heard him speak a few times- we once had a conversation about which Chinese in town we thought was the best.
As I try to descend from the doggy position I had landed in, he outstreched his hand to give me a helping hand! My God I couldn’t believe this. Was my hand actually interlocking with Jasons. Was I dreaming? My night and shining armour had come to save the day. He must fancy me? Surely he wouldn’t have bothered if he didn’t see something in me right?
As I accepted his help, he quickly yanked me to my feet, let my hand go to pick up the bits of my bag that were all over the ground (he skipped passed the tampons but I could forgive him for that) as I dusted myself off. Again, he asked was I okay.
I was so nervous (and when I get nervous I don’t shut up) I proceeded to tell him I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and about forgetting my PE gear and a slew of other shite that I can’t exactly remember now.
As I talked we walked into the school together and ….
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