well it was tuesday and it was my free day, so in the morning me and jessica were suppost to go to breakfast but the lady didnt wanted to wait for me , so we didnt went, so instead i took a shower, ate with mom, then went to see drive, it was a good movie, then i went to buy some cards, i did, come back ,went to the bank , deposit the money, come back, stayed here for while, then went for the sisters, and that is when jessica asked at when was the money, i told her that at 5 and 7 but that at 5 i couldnt make it, which she couldnt either at 7 so that makes us two right, so i stayed home, and prepared my decks, it was fun, sort of, but i started to felted down, abit guilty, because the more and more days pass, the more i feel that my words to july are becoming true and in a way its good i guess but in another its not because i am suppost to be the old one that one that wont get IN LOVE or his eyes BLINDED, but it feels like i am, and onces that happens, well then we will go back to the same old, U FEEL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT HERE routine and same story again, the issue is that i am still talking with jessica, although i dont know where that will lead to tell u the truth, and adriana , things are moving slow, but as i was thinking today , after the movie, is that i am ok alone, i mean now that the doords for dancing opened, i have another era to live right, alone , enjoy the dancing, u know, so why do i want to tie my self to someone, as u have seen it requieres alot of time and money, something quiet frankly we dont have, so i guess we are ok as we are, in the mean time we are getting our needs serve by susumi, she makes u smile alot,and u know that everytime we talk to her, that door opens and floods the main room, so i mean its good sort of, but we are only fooling our selfs, into thinking that there may be something there, but i guess i am just reliving all the pressure that was builded in there for the past 4,5 years, ever since we met, speaking of met, i do truely think that susumi and i could have made a good couple, i believe it with all my heart and mind and even , heck soul, something that i have not had with any other girl, maybe except karen, but it wasnt all the way, so in the mean time, i should build up my self, become better as july is doing so, that way i can reach even higher levels, and i guess now i am getting used to july because i am starting to believe that i actually like her,