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alexj4d

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I just don’t know what to do anymore.
I feel entangled in worry all the time and I want to liberate myself from it.
I just need to focus on the constants… Yes, the constants. The variables are the sources of this anxiety.
I need to cast all my cares to the wind by the ocean side.
I have felt relaxation, but it was too long ago.
Too many things are raging on in my head; so many wars and contradictions with myself.
Part of me wants to keep my current variables and correct them, make them right.
Another part tells me to erase them from the equation that is this life. Start fresh.
I want to find the answer.
Then maybe I can work backwards and find the variables I need…

132 words in 10 minutes at 05:59 AM on Jan 14, 2010 | comments

I want to know the past.
I hunger for knowledge of all sorts.
I have a teacher who is very intelligent.
Today he shared stories of his youth, and how he discovered his passion for art.
He would enjoy this website, I’m sure.
He told the class he is currently writing a book (though I forgot what it is about).

Ian Li was smart to create this website. It is a great idea.

My math teacher screwed up.
Last semester, she gave me a D+ in her class.
I found this to be impossible, since I had a decent grade and did well on the final.
I talked to her today.
Turns out she had put a 38% instead of 88% for my final exam grade.
She fixed it.

I want to write poetry somehow.
I just need to figure out a topic and expand on it.
Not just for the sake of it though.
I want to express myself.
I want to be proud of these poems, and show them to the girl I’ve been seeing.
I hope to see her soon.
Maybe soon I’ll write a poem here.
I tried a little on my last post, but it was not that good.

Time’s up!

206 words in 10 minutes at 05:46 AM on Jan 13, 2010 | comments

This is my room.
I have instruments with which to make music.
Composition is my passion.
But I need some ideas.

Discovering this site has made my day better.
Being back to school does not make me happy.

Recently, things are great.
Thoughts, new experiences, a girl, and thoughts about such things.
These continue in my mind.

She is, yes.
She speaks to me, and I speak to her.
Sometimes it doesn’t feel right.
She is a friend of my friend.
This friend introduced us, and we started talking.
She is fun.
I need to be more like myself when I am with her.
She doesn’t like immaturity.

This world is making me sick.
So much happening.
Population rising every day.
So much to ponder.
The meaning is obscured.
So much to see.
The mountain is inviting.
So much to learn.
I don’t know much.
So much to give.
I don’t know what I can yet.
So much to live for – yet it’s hard to see sometimes.
This life is a mystery to me.

Sometimes I dream of a faraway place where I can just be. I want to go there. It exists somewhere in this world, and it will be found. Landscapes, trees, water. A simple life with necessities and perhaps a bit more. Maybe I will live there someday.
I need solitude.

I am done for now.

230 words in 10 minutes at 02:23 AM on Jan 12, 2010 | comments

Name Alex
Location California
Bio I enjoy some things in life.
Posts 3

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