amd_360

puta madre !!!! word of the day, after all, i feel pretty f . u .c .k.e.d up, why??? well because i feel that i have a crappy job and i cant climb and well since i have a crappy job, i feel that i am not worthy of july, after all she is a pretty hard working mother ___ !! but yeah seriously, i feel down today, plus today we have to go to my cousin wedding, can u believe it, and all for what? just for 5 days with july, and the family away from work,which i dont know if u can call this work, dawm it, the more i think about it, the more frustrated i feel, the more i go deeper into a bad mood, and when i am in a bad mood, well JUST STAY OUT OF MY WAY, because i can explode and probably will on somebody or i will end up hurting my self in ways that i know, so i dont know what will get me out of this , this, this bad sequence of events, that are tumbling down a hill,thus creating what is called, A SNOWBALL EFFECT, where a single event creates other go to down hill as well,
God speed !!!!

God it hurts yo know, it hurts to see susumi being happy, and yet i cant blame her, after all, she probably saw my profile and saw the pictures of my and july after this weekend. Coming in today, i was happy but everything seems to take a wrong turn and now i am left feeling down, and even sort of resentful, as to why i am feeling jealous, i mean after all, i have a gf, a nice good, why not lets say it, and yet i keep finding my self feeling awkward after seeing susumi post of her being with her bf and saying such things as I LOVE HIM, shit, talk about a silver bullet for me, and at the same time, i cant say anything. you see , times like this make me feel lonely, wondering why isnt july here with me, so i could be happy, God i need God !!! i really do, i need peace

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